Now I've never been one to really make a New Year's resolution, but the other day I was (in all places, the shower) thinking about the people that I have hurt, offended, lied to or just been flat out been rude to. There are five things in particular that have absolutely eaten me up. The first being when I was about 9 years old, and the latest about 6 months ago. I was talking to my cute mom the other day and told her how I was feeling about things in my life. Like always, she had awesome advice.

I whole heartedly believe that people are placed in our lives by our Heavenly Father at a specific time; when we need them the most. They are placed there to help us learn something or for us to teach them something. Whether it be love, patience, trust, honesty, humility or just a listening ear, they are placed there at that specific time for a reason. At the time, we may not know the reason and years down the road that reason is made clear to us; but on the other hand, sometimes we will never know why they were placed in our life.

If I would remember this in the heat of the moment, I think I would be less quick to get upset or say something that might upset someone else, and I could just learn what I need to from that person and our lives could continue like normal. Now I know that we also need to have trials in life to make us stronger and learn, but sometimes I wish MY lessons learned were not at the expense of others.

This is the reason I need to fix the things that I have power to fix now, and let the rest be in the hands of others. There is a song that can totally sum up my feelings right now, it's by Nickelback and it's called "If today was your last day".

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you had?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be your way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live life like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you had?
Would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one your dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you had?

Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one your dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

I know it sounds kind of weird, but I really do want to be a better person to EVERYONE! Now I'm not sayin' I want to be liked by everyone, because I know that will never be possible. There will always be people out there that I will never see eye to eye with, and that's ok as long as I am good and honest and love the ones that I do have, I will be better with myself and the life I lead.

There are some people out there that I need to talk to face to face and let them know my feelings. There are also others I'm sure, that I didn't even know I have upset or offended, and to those people, I am truly sorry. I wish I had a list of all you because I would like to apologize to you face to face.

I want to know that if I were to die tomorrow I haven't left anything undone. Especially the things that I had the power to change and didn't. I can change some of those things right now. That would be a huge mistake to know that I had the chance to change things with people and I never sucked up my pride and apologized to them to try and make things right.

So, to all of those that I have upset, lied to, broken promises, hurt, or been rude to, I am so sorry!!